1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon
– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.
2. The Benchwarmer
-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.
3. The Sketchball
-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.
4. The Ramp Tramp
-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.
5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.
-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.
6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes
-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.
7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp
-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.
Related Posts
Comments
Popular
-
INSIDE THE MIND OF ROGER BAGLEY
From success doctors to controversial guests, this one’s long and Roger didn't hold back.
-
A CHAT WITH LUDVIG HAKANSSON, THE OLDEST SOUL IN SKATEBOARDING
The man loves to read Nietzche, skates in some expensive vintage gear, and paints in his own neoclassical-meets-abstract-expressionist style.
-
GETTING TO KNOW SAL BARBIER, THE MAN BEHIND ONE OF SKATING’S MOST ICONIC SHOES
Follow along as Sal takes us through his hometown in the Bayou.
-
HOW A TENNIS BALL SPARKED SHAWN HALE TO INVENT HIS OWN FOOTWEAR
It's not a new grip tape formula or some sort of carbon moon pop deck. Instead, Shawn Hale created a shoe for rehab and recovery.
-
OUR NEW SERIES “SKATEPARK PROFILES” POINTS THE CAMERA ON YOU
Dedicated to the skaters and locals keeping shops in business and the scene vibrant.
July 26, 2023 7:12 pm
No. The most annoying type are the 30-45 year old beefy guys acting like teens! They think they own the park. They drink and smoke weed too. These people need to Grow up and leave the skate park to school children!