1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon
– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.
2. The Benchwarmer
-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.
3. The Sketchball
-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.
4. The Ramp Tramp
-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.
5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.
-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.
6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes
-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.
7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp
-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.
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October 2, 2014 11:26 pm
Holy shit this was awesome hahaha – made my day. There are people like this every skatepark here in Australia. The worst are the scooter fags who sit on the benches.
October 23, 2014 2:13 pm
Those satan kid skaters ages 6-10 that have world industries/spitfire boards. They like to sit on ledges and talk shit about everyone. When you call them out “Talking shit kid?” they just giggle and tell you to “relax.” You want to smack them and they know it. As you walk away they start to giggle again.
The guy thats super fucking good and knows it. He has this pimp walk and over-confident look on his face. He thinks he’s the king of the park. He busts a big trick then goes to have a smoke and leans against the fence like he’s a bad ass talking to all the hood rats. But then one day his head gets so big that he becomes too cool for skating and becomes a drug dealer.
The one guy the ONLY treflips
That scary ass looking cholo with tatts covering his entire body. Theres no way he can skate. Dude fucking treflips a set of stairs… WTF?
March 27, 2015 10:36 am
What about the old fat guy who poorly writes articles, skates for 2 minutes then cracks a beer and talks about how it was all totally different before the Internet, more REAL.
January 1, 2016 1:49 pm
All of these people saying negative stuff about a street make the skate community look worse……. :/