5 THINGS SKATERS DO THAT “NORMAL” PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND

Ruin Skate Career Skate bum

1. “Test” tricks with our hands

You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.

2. Wax stuff

Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.

3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects

Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.

4. Have strange little rituals

Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”

5. Wear shoelace belts

Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.


Words: James Lee
Original Illustration: Michael Giurato
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Comments

  1. Greg Road:

    The public yelling and losing your shit with no care for who’s around is really quite ridiculous. But so is a grown ass man wearing kids shorts.

  2. bonjour truth:

    being a loser for life and realizing that it’s just a kids past time before real life catches up and you end up an alcoholic telling everyone you used to skate.

    • bigwilly:

      someone didnt get as good as they wanted to.sorry you couldnt stay committed. define commitment. im sure you can be more creative than dishing out stereotypical judgments.

    • sorry pal:

      Someone doesn’t skate and wanted in, but our little few million person posse said NO! Everyones cold shoulder or pointing fingers, at this said soul and it seemed to have left a mark or in this case a Marc.

    • Russel:

      Did you really just go on a skateboarding website, read the article, then proceed to leave a comment criticizing skateboarding?…I see you’re leading a much more fulfilling and productive life than us alcoholic losers. ‘grats bro

  3. Mike:

    Cheaper than therapy. I’m fat so I don’t need a belt haha.

  4. faggot:

    I think the shoelace works so well because it has no bulk and does the job well, imagine slamming with a leather belt on all the time. It would be like wearing a watch while skating.

    • atrain:

      so true. i used to ware a real old school ass whipping belt even had an asortment of buckles for it. i out shrunck it and now just stick to the lace. works better no bulk look cool ( or offers a convo stater) and is stupid cheap for two a time. and …. if you need it you can just change it out for the busted lace in your shoe and keep the session live.

    • N:

      That’s exactly how I feel!! I used to wear a belt but fell on it a couple times and moved to shoelaces. Now all I get are weird looks when I pause to re-tye my shoelace

  5. i fucking love this site!

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