March 14, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 76


1. “Test” tricks with our hands

You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.

2. Wax stuff

Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.

3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects

Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.

4. Have strange little rituals

Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”

5. Wear shoelace belts

Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.

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  1. Greg Road

    March 14, 2013 12:44 pm

    The public yelling and losing your shit with no care for who’s around is really quite ridiculous. But so is a grown ass man wearing kids shorts.

  2. bonjour truth

    March 14, 2013 3:51 pm

    being a loser for life and realizing that it’s just a kids past time before real life catches up and you end up an alcoholic telling everyone you used to skate.

    • bigwilly

      August 14, 2013 4:19 pm

      someone didnt get as good as they wanted to.sorry you couldnt stay committed. define commitment. im sure you can be more creative than dishing out stereotypical judgments.

      • tevin

        February 4, 2014 10:22 pm

        wooo I’m backin this comment bounjour truth is just a hater.

      • Puking Nukes

        November 12, 2014 1:01 am

        Go hug a fucking rainbow you asshole.

        “Just stay motivated, determined, and life will turn out great!”

        Save that bullshit for your abstinence seminar homie. The truth is that life is a bitch, and it hurts more than it heals. The best thing you can do is suck it up and laugh at all the family members, “friends”, managers, law enforcement officers, politicians and general ass clowns that dish out half-assed regurgitated bits of wisdom (you are one such ass clown, btw).

    • sorry pal

      October 7, 2013 10:42 pm

      Someone doesn’t skate and wanted in, but our little few million person posse said NO! Everyones cold shoulder or pointing fingers, at this said soul and it seemed to have left a mark or in this case a Marc.

    • Russel

      February 7, 2014 10:30 pm

      Did you really just go on a skateboarding website, read the article, then proceed to leave a comment criticizing skateboarding?…I see you’re leading a much more fulfilling and productive life than us alcoholic losers. ‘grats bro

    • @AdamBiggers81

      May 31, 2014 8:57 am

      I skated daily for nearly 15 years. Today, I’m 32, but I still skate when I can–that’s when I’m not writing columns for one of the largest sports sites on the Web. Not bad for some skater loser, huh? Skating has given me so much, and I’m proud to say that one of my good friends actually owns a skate company and holds skate camps for kids–maybe you should attend? But of course, he’s just another old-guy loser too.

      Eat it, Bonjour.

      • Aint No Justice

        February 24, 2015 12:44 am

        Exactly life isn’t about “winning” its about succeeding at everything you want to achieve,including skateboarding. If bonjour just had enough sense to think about that he wouldn’t be making statements like that one.(well we can hope)

      • Elissa steamer

        May 31, 2019 1:37 am

        Rollerbladers I mean “fruitbooters” get ragged on for be “gay” have been for decades, pretty narrow minded right? Now I’m realizing, the stereo type for a older guy on a skate board is “a burn out man child living in his van”, narrow minded I know. But being a “fruitbooter” skateboarding is a big industry thanks to Nike, addidas, New balance, converse etc… But in the end…lakai, diamond, es, etc…are losing out . The money is there for the “man child” to make in skateboarding. At the same time the “fruitbooter” put on his big boy pants knowing his “sport” was going under and depended on finding a real career. It’s just nice to see how sensitive skateboarders are at the second of any type of “stereo type bashing” when “faggot fruit booters” have been used to it for years.

    • Turbojugend

      May 31, 2014 9:04 am

      Typical french response, blame their own problems on other people…….

    • Layaway

      May 31, 2014 9:09 pm

      Bon Jour:
      Sad you consider giving up your lifes passions as grown up. Most grown skaters I know are in tech and creative making cool stuff. We did not have to compromise what we love to be successful and support our families.
      I am 36 and skate almost everyday since I was 13.

    • giganticdonkeydick

      June 1, 2014 4:42 pm

      I have a career and ride my skateboard regularly. The only losers are the ones who can’t balance both, and have to give EITHER up

    • skater4life

      June 1, 2014 7:50 pm

      The truth about truth, pretty sure you hate on anything that anyone does, that your not a part of. Oh and to smash your stereotype, I’ve been skating for over 25 years, I’m a flight engineer, I work in a Quality Assurance office, I probably earned more money than you at this point and I give to others. The day that “real life” caught up to me, I realized I need to skate more! Take a look in the mirror bro, your days would of been a lot more happier if you skated.

    • Skaterboi

      December 25, 2015 11:08 am

      Nailed it!

    • RealLife

      June 13, 2018 4:32 pm

      This little kid is so mad his parents took his skateboard away. Adults can split up what they do into time managed segments. You will learn about it if you ever grow up.

    • Angel

      November 20, 2018 5:46 pm

      Sounds like you have a personal issue with skaters just fyi its a hobby for adults retard get your fucking head out of your ass there are more 30 to mid 50s men and women who skate just to exersize but obviously you are way to stupid of a human to understand that concept.

    • Skatehatersareuseless

      March 9, 2020 2:56 pm

      Shut the fuck up

  3. Mike

    March 14, 2013 11:16 pm

    Cheaper than therapy. I’m fat so I don’t need a belt haha.

  4. faggot

    March 15, 2013 2:31 am

    I think the shoelace works so well because it has no bulk and does the job well, imagine slamming with a leather belt on all the time. It would be like wearing a watch while skating.

    • atrain

      January 5, 2014 11:49 pm

      so true. i used to ware a real old school ass whipping belt even had an asortment of buckles for it. i out shrunck it and now just stick to the lace. works better no bulk look cool ( or offers a convo stater) and is stupid cheap for two a time. and …. if you need it you can just change it out for the busted lace in your shoe and keep the session live.

    • N

      February 4, 2014 4:59 pm

      That’s exactly how I feel!! I used to wear a belt but fell on it a couple times and moved to shoelaces. Now all I get are weird looks when I pause to re-tye my shoelace

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