5 TIPS FOR BEING A “COOL GUY”

1. Wear the proper brands
Something like a Supreme hat is a must for the elitist / cool guy image. It’s amazing how a little brand logo can instantly turn a normal human being into someone that is “in the know” and “down with the homies”.

2. Don’t get too excited
Remember, there’s no reason to get too hyped on anything, because nothing is as cool as you.

3. Never acknowledge anyone first
See some skate rat you know at the bar? Your friend’s friend, maybe even a co-worker? Ignore them. The cool guy is never the dude tapping people on the shoulder and introducing themselves – He’s always the dude being recognized, like a rockstar. And when you are noticed, don’t act too happy. Smiling is for chumps and suck-ups.

4. Always roll with the homies
Going anywhere alone, even for a second can make you feel vulnerable and look like a loser. Cool guys are always surrounded by homies because everyone wants to be around them. And let’s face it, a group of badass skaters is intimidating, and intimidating = cool!

5. Don’t skate too much
People who skate really hard all day are just trying to compensate for the lack of something else (job, girlfriend, penis size..etc). So once you skate around a bit, sit down because you are “so hungover” from the “crazy night you had last night” and just watch everyone else. Remember, cool guys don’t really skate, they just smoke cigs and silently judge everyone else that is.


Words: James Lee
Original Illustration: Michael Giurato
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Comments

  1. Cheesepuff:

    Hey dickmunch. I’m really hoping this is just a bad tasted joke. If not hopefully you are the cool guy you describe, cause trust me, in the real world, don’t nobody like douchebags like that. YOu basically jsut described how to be douchebag, douchebag.

    • George:

      You are a fool.

    • James Russel:

      What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your little miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

      • Barton:

        I don’t know if this is a joke or not, I hope so, because it’s so radically absurd that I shit a brick of platinum. If you were in fact involved in the US Military in any way or trained in GUERRILLA warfare, I think you’d know how to spell it. And to suggest that that any US government officials or military officers would track down and kill a US citizen for a comment on the internet is ten fucking gallons of bullshit. And I am a US Marine Officer. Oh, also, I saw this exact comment on youtube once, pretty much word for word. So maybe it is a joke. If so, disregard my unpleasantries.
        Semper Fidelis

      • Shut up:

        I’ve seen this comment on too many youtube videos. l2original

    • Blackity black man:

      This is called SATIRE.

    • thatass:

      You got it all wrong, this is cool-guy-in-middle-20′s. The dude who knows how to impress a small 15 year old boy

    • Dave:

      Are you retarded cheesepuff?

    • Perrito Chistoso:

      Hahaha being offended by a joke its not ONLY a major douchebagery, (your words) but it makes you a complete pussy and a funkiller…asshole, go hate your mom dickhead

  2. garf:
  3. Touchhole:

    So true it hurts

  4. Yep:

    How about “Tips for sniffing blow in the bathroom at max fish”?

  5. FuckThis:

    This is the worst thing I’ve read all month…. You better be joking with this comic.

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