March 14, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 76


1. “Test” tricks with our hands

You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.

2. Wax stuff

Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.

3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects

Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.

4. Have strange little rituals

Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”

5. Wear shoelace belts

Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.

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  1. Stu

    July 24, 2015 6:50 am

    Perpetual 14 year olds, with a doobie in one hand and an ethnic girlfriend in the other, a shitty attitude and a chip on their shoulder. They are likely to vote liberal because does. Middle aged teenagers who wear the same close as schoolboys.

    Do not make friends with skaters, your life will go wrong.

  2. Aidan

    April 29, 2016 2:08 pm

    The reason skaters wear a shoelace belt is in case while they’re skating and their real shoelace rips they have a spare.

  3. Jay

    June 10, 2016 10:48 am

    Every time my shirt lifts a little bit and my colleagues see my “shoelace-belt” they’d always say to me, hey bro are you a hobo or hey bro do you want a belt, I’ll buy you one? I hate those crappy lines

  4. fay37

    January 6, 2017 10:25 am

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