1. “Test” tricks with our hands
You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.
2. Wax stuff
Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.
3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects
Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.
4. Have strange little rituals
Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”
5. Wear shoelace belts
Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.
OUR FAVORITE PRO SKATER STORIES SUBMITTED BY YOU
We asked our readers to share their most vivid encounters from over the years. These are just a few of our favorites out of the hundreds you sent.
JENKEM MIX 132: UNA FARRAR
Una brings that bitch I do what I want energy front and center, and damn does it feel good.
SKATERS RECOMMEND THEIR FAVORITE SKATE PANTS
We hit up some pro skaters and Jenkem contributors known for their 'fits to offer recommendations.
PLOTTING THE LIFECYCLE OF A TRENDY TRICK
"Pressure flips are cool again. Actually, their second act has lasted longer than their first did."
THE STORY OF HOLLYWOOD’S FAVORITE SKATEBOARDING PRIMATE
If you were a kid in the 2000s, you might remember a movie by the name of MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate.