January 22, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 65

For being as creative and out of the box as skaters like to say they are, skateboard videos are still pretty formulaic these days. If you’re making a video, feel free to print this one out to remind yourself what clichés have already been jammed down our throats for the last 10 years.

1. Fuck cops / fighting security montage: We get it. Skateboarding is illegal and pretty badass and we are totally not criminals yo. But for the love of god, how many times must we watch some 17 year old “stick it to the man” and argue with some out of shape mall cop.

2. Shotgunning beers: It doesn’t make you cool and any frat boy piece of shit can do it better than you.

3. Stress montage / Freakouts: I’m having a small freakout montage just thinking about how many times I’ve sat through these freakout montages. Who knew that Kerry Getz would inspire legions of white suburban kids to act like a bunch of whiny annoying babies in public.

4. Film burn effect: This used to be THE go-to effect for your skate video. If you ever needed a little “artsy flair” or some filler at the end of a part, this was the default. I think people started to realize how ridiculous it was and settled down a bit, but there’s always a chance it could come back and rear its ugly head.

5. High 5’s / cheering: I know this might be a good way to humanize your skateboarders and totally show their personality but I think Pretty Sweet had enough of both of these for everyone else to just stop doing them all together.

6. Go Pro angle: This one hasn’t been done to death yet, but it’s coming soon. Just you wait. It’s already been used in the last Transworld video and Bam has already done promotion for them- Which means HIM & CKY fans will be putting on eyeliner and abusing themselves with it in their videos accordingly.

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  1. Michael

    January 22, 2013 2:54 pm

    Enjoyed the article! Every other comment must be that very same white surburban kid in process of filming their stress montage much to everyone’s dismay…

  2. babyswiss

    January 22, 2013 4:54 pm

    11. Slow Motion
    12. Super 8 footage of people skating through big crowds in the city
    13. HD
    14. Second Angles
    15. Handrails

  3. Laurence

    January 22, 2013 4:57 pm

    This is AWFUL. Such a shit article. People putting things in skate videos that they think are amusing/interesting is what can either make or break a skate video. You can’t just generalize all videos into a few paragraphs and just say a general ‘don’t’

    p.s. pretty sweet is fucking terrible I watched three quarters of it once and never returned to it.

    • JosephRojo

      January 23, 2013 5:50 pm

      During my cold weather sit-ins I enjoy trolling the internet.

      Rarely do I comment, but I would like to take this moment to teach the meaning of Thomas Gray’s phrase ‘ignorance is bliss’. My example of ignorance is found in Laurenc’s post script.

      p.s. this article is slightly retarded but not as retarded as our friend Laurence.

  4. red

    January 22, 2013 6:51 pm

    Jenkem taking the piss once again.

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