Welcome to the fifth episode of Jenk TV!
By now, you’ve probably seen the clip of Tony Hawk, doing a McTwist while holding a tall glass of milk – 2% judging by the liquid’s viscosity.
Where some viewers might have been impressed, I was offended. Sure the trick was cool, but did you see that weak-ass sip Tony took at the end? You can tell that, despite his long relationship with Big Dairy, the Birdman might only sip the creamy elixir to cash a check, not because he loves the drink.
Now, me? I’m a real milk lover. So rather than just complaining to Twitter about Tony’s little baby sip, I decided to take action and attempt to one-up the Birdman at his own challenge. Unfortunately for me, I can’t Mctwist, let alone get access to a half-pipe.
However, I can show the world what a real milk chug looks like, and, to make up the difference between mine and Tony’s trick, I decided to up the ante and down a nice, warm bottle of fresh, breast milk straight from some momma, not no cow.
If you’re trying to score some breast milk for yourself, hit me on the DMs and I could give you the name of my dealer.