Welcome to the fifth episode of Jenk TV!
By now, you’ve probably seen the clip of Tony Hawk, doing a McTwist while holding a tall glass of milk – 2% judging by the liquid’s viscosity.
Where some viewers might have been impressed, I was offended. Sure the trick was cool, but did you see that weak-ass sip Tony took at the end? You can tell that, despite his long relationship with Big Dairy, the Birdman might only sip the creamy elixir to cash a check, not because he loves the drink.
Now, me? I’m a real milk lover. So rather than just complaining to Twitter about Tony’s little baby sip, I decided to take action and attempt to one-up the Birdman at his own challenge. Unfortunately for me, I can’t Mctwist, let alone get access to a half-pipe.
However, I can show the world what a real milk chug looks like, and, to make up the difference between mine and Tony’s trick, I decided to up the ante and down a nice, warm bottle of fresh, breast milk straight from some momma, not no cow.
If you’re trying to score some breast milk for yourself, hit me on the DMs and I could give you the name of my dealer.
Related Posts
Comments
Popular
-
HANGING OUT WITH ANDREW HUBERMAN, SKATEBOARDER TURNED NEUROSCIENTIST
Curious what it would be like to hang with this guy outside of a stuffy podcast studio? Us too.
-
A CHAT WITH LUDVIG HAKANSSON, THE OLDEST SOUL IN SKATEBOARDING
The man loves to read Nietzche, skates in some expensive vintage gear, and paints in his own neoclassical-meets-abstract-expressionist style.
-
LIFE LESSONS FROM BEING A PRO SKATER
"Hopefully this piece will be an opportunity to pull the curtain back on things that too often go unsaid."
-
WHAT’S IN THE BAG… MARCELLO CAMPANELLO
Get a sense of the essential items one might need while hopping AirBnBs and ripping Aperol Spritz.
-
G-FILES 004
Watch the crew of up-and-comers out of the Pacific Northwest laugh their asses off, listen to weird Young Thug remixes, and above all else, skate.
October 5, 2020 5:24 pm
Fuck yeah Larry!
October 5, 2020 5:48 pm
It’s not even pathetic it’s just sad
October 5, 2020 8:44 pm
stay on your couch
October 6, 2020 6:29 am
Will do until your mom’s finished with her business
October 5, 2020 6:19 pm
My wife works in lactation. Her milk tasted awesome. Tasted like honey and milk. Shits good for you.
October 5, 2020 8:56 pm
how regularly do you drink from your wife’s breasts?
October 5, 2020 6:49 pm
Yee! Milk Bois!