March 14, 2013/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 76


1. “Test” tricks with our hands

You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.

2. Wax stuff

Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.

3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects

Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.

4. Have strange little rituals

Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”

5. Wear shoelace belts

Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.

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  1. Sean

    February 7, 2014 11:45 pm

    I use to skate, hard. Now I’m a grown ass man. Anyone one who still skates after the age of 18 is immature. Anyone who still skateboards in his 30s is a fuckin loser. Grow the fuck up.

    • peter_file

      February 13, 2014 4:41 pm

      you used to skate hard… but now you’re an adult you just troll skate websites regretting your shitty life, in comparison to the nostalgic good ol’ days when popping ollies and eating skittles were the highlight over being an alcoholic who gets no pussy.

      poor cunt

    • nate

      June 27, 2014 6:28 pm

      I think the “I use to skate” means you probably don’t belong on this site….

  2. Doug Prishpreed

    February 26, 2014 1:20 am

    this is so lame hahahhaha

  3. jj

    March 30, 2014 1:11 pm

    Your all just butt hurt cause they nasty and its an art that u cant do

  4. heather925

    April 18, 2014 7:57 am

    skating is great keeps kids from doing worst things.but it keeps parents busy in er.and expensive to keep buying boards and sneakers.but its cheaper then bail or lawyer:)

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