1. “Test” tricks with our hands
You know when a spot catches your eye and you just HAVE to go up to it and start imagining all the trick possibilities? And then you hold up your hands and pretend like there’s a giant invisible fingerboard under them and start “acting out” the tricks you plan on doing? Yeah.. Somehow this is a no-brainer to us but to anyone else in functioning society, we really just look like legitimate psychos.
2. Wax stuff
Stop and think about it. Most people grow up and aspire to be teachers or doctors and contribute to a functioning and healthy society. While most pro skaters are grown ass men stuffing cheap candles in their pockets, rubbing wax on public slabs of cement when no one’s looking and grinding them down with a toy invented in the 60s. We really are assholes.
3. Publicly yell at inanimate objects
Most people get frustrated with stuff like printers or remote controls at home or in the office, but are always a little embarrassed about it. But for a skateboarder, it’s perfectly normal to talk to a crack in the sidewalk, kick a curb, or scream at the top of your lungs at a handrail in the middle of a busy pedestrian area.
4. Have strange little rituals
Skateboarders are a genuinely a neurotic bunch. Everything has to be perfect, just the way we like it, otherwise we can’t “perform.” We have to apply our own grip, turn our wheel graphics inward, put our nuts and bolts in a special order and sticker our boards “perfectly.”
5. Wear shoelace belts
Because it’s so common in skateboarding, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t something “normal” people do. They go and actually spend money on an accessory to keep their pants up, while we proudly trot around with some cheap shoelace that looks like a thong when bending over. It’s always funny when you bring back a girl for the first time and she goes to undo your belt. That’s when you have to pull up your shirt, smile, and proudly show her how you still wear your pants like a 12 year old boy.
DOES SIZE MATTER?
I hit up physical therapist Dr. Kyle Brown for some insight on whether or not our height plays a noticeable role in how we skate.
A FIRST LOOK AT OPERA AND SKATEBOARDING’S NEWEST GROUP OF BRANDS
Bill Weiss and a few of his close friends are picking up the pieces from the Dwindle rubble and starting fresh with a new slew of brands.
PREMIERE: VIVIEN FEIL AND SOY PANDAY IN MAGENTA’S “JUST CRUISE II”
We hope to skate half as good as these dudes when we are in our 40s.
HOW CHAD CARUSO SKATED ACROSS AMERICA
Chad did it the way most skateboarders would: independently and without much of a plan.
SECRET HOBBIES WITH ELI REED
Enjoy episode 2 of our new series that finds out what things skaters secretly fan out on (besides kickflips and pants).
August 20, 2013 7:33 pm
I think a skater’s complete inability to walk through a puddle has been forgotten here, please tell me I’m not the only one…
September 9, 2013 11:59 pm
I`ve never heard that one before, but I sure as hell wont skate through them, It`ll ruin my bearings……I like my bearings……
June 27, 2014 6:25 pm
I do jump over puddles if I’m out walking with my board heading to a spot. The driest path is often the the best path.
August 21, 2013 1:12 am
Do you think by writing this makes you cool asshole? I don’t give a shit.
August 21, 2013 1:14 am
Long live Scooters!
September 9, 2013 11:57 pm
oh hell no!
long live skateboards! :P
And I think this was copied, I have read before…… I can`t seem to rember though hmm.
Lastly, Why are people getting angry, I think this is quite comical.Allthough a sterotype I honestly dont think he hates skaters.
Live by the Board!
September 10, 2013 11:38 pm
I am a jew. I ride scooter. Skateboarding is for Goyim.
June 27, 2014 6:26 pm
So are dollar bills. Go collect pennies.
October 8, 2013 11:12 pm
Guilty as charged on the neurosis… I always have to put my right knee pad on first before the other one during a session. The shoelace belt also works great for air travel! Fuck you, TSA!