1. Chad Muska
Muska would definitely be the Charles Manson of the bum world. Aside from their similarly unkempt appearance and crazy person eyes, only Muska has the charisma to whip legions of followers into a cult-like frenzy and convince them that bad street graffiti is the natural response to a government conspiracy to suppress Muska Beats and Supra Skytops.
2. Bam Margera
I kind of see Bam as the “Collector Bum”, the type who in his prime collected lambos and zoo animals but after falling from grace is left with two shopping carts conjoined with twine. Collecting rags, wires, and pieces of tin foil that pique his interest as he wanders Philly’s streets, wondering how it all went wrong after Jackass 3.
3. Chris Haslam
Chris Haslam looks like the mad genius type of bum, someone who would try to sell you a toaster contraption that allows you to read the President’s mind. The kind that would stink like shit after a long day of building another absurd indoor obstacle course of madness. Who could possibly blame you for wanting to offer this poor, disheveled soul a warm cot and a hot meal?
4. Gareth Stehr
Presumably a close relative to Chris Haslam, we have Gareth Stehr, who has truly been another innovator in bum-chic perfection.
5. Antwuan Dixon
Antwuan Dixon hasn’t been in the game for that long, but he’s already a legend… For proof look no further than his debut part in Baker 3. That being said, there are really only two types of people who can rock that many face tattoos and get away with it: The well respected and the mentally insane. We’ll give Antwuan the benefit of the doubt in being the former of the two, after all, with a smile like his, he can’t be all bad. If you really want to see how chill this scary looking individual can be, kick back and watch him puff smoke in this Epicly Later’d clip.
6. Jason Dill
Seriously, try to picture this dude mean mugging you on the subway. You’d probably just keep your head down, pretending not to notice him staring directly at you while nervously flipping through the pages of Thrasher or whatever the hell you read. That is until you see a Supreme ad and think, “Holy shit it’s Jason Dill! He’s probably looking at my Fucking Awesome shirt.”
7. Sammy Baca
I don’t know a lot about Sammy Baca, just that that he’s from Las Vegas and does well under pressure. If he plays his cards right he can probably swing a deal with Head & Shoulders and finally get a commercial and website for his hair like Troy Polamalu. A lucrative haircare endorsement might be just what Baca needs to pull himself out of the gutter.
8. Brian Slash Handsen
I know… You don’t have to say it… We already have like half of the Baker dudes on this list. But how is it my fault that Brian “Slash” Hansen looks like he’s trying to sell you this board he stole rather than show you it’s HIS face on this pro Deathwish model?
9. Tom Penny
Tom Penny kind of has the hashish bum look going on. I can totally picture him coming out of a dark alley in Barcelona and trying to get you to buy, “some of the good stuff man.” Truth be told, Penny doesn’t have the bum-chic look that a lot of these other dudes have going on, but man that head scarf thing he wears has to get pretty crusty after a while.
10. Mark Gonzales
Gonz makes the list as the eccentric bum. His look isn’t particularly bummy, but if you were in the middle of San Francisco’s Tenderloin and saw Gonz yelling, “I do the tricks, not you” at his skateboard, you would likely just look the other way and keep walking. You might not recognize him as Mark Fuckin’ Gonzales, especially if he had just sat down and helped himself to the dessert off a paying customer’s table. All I’m saying is, to the average passerby, Gonz probably does not look like a professional “athlete” who has spent the last 15 years with Adidas.