INTERVIEW WITH MICHIGAN’S #1 RAMP TRAMP

We get some pretty amazing emails from our readers, but nothing as good as the one we received months ago from Michigan’s self proclaimed #1 ramp tramp. Not only was she a huge Jenkem fan, but she sent us some pretty ridiculous photos of herself, and in return we sent her a bunch of stickers and a promo zine. So who is she really? An 18 year old chick, freshman in college, loves skateboarders, loves Jenkem, and wants to get dirty. No complaints from us…

At what point did you realize that you wanted to be a ramp tramp?
I was born a ramp tramp. It just took me a while to figure out, it was my destiny. As soon as I stepped foot onto a skatepark I just knew it’s where I was meant to be. Transitions skatepark was the first I had ever gone to. I was surrounded by scummy skaters and I felt at home. The sweaty shirtless dudes strolling all around me got me all warm and fuzzy inside.

What is attractive to you about skateboarders? What do you like so much about them?
What isn’t attractive about them should really be the question. From the shoelace belts to the snapbacks and that dirty unshowered look – I can’t get enough. I love their grimy, I don’t give a fuck attitude.

Have you done stuff at the skatepark with any skaters?
Just an orgy once. It was kind of a fail though, not enough of me to go around for all the homies. Everybody wants a piece of Michigan’s certified ramp tramp. I tried my best though and I think they appreciated my effort. I’m down for ramp redemption though, take 2. Maybe we can throw a couple pro’s in this time. nahh..no sex yet, madeout with a fair share but I’ll be sure to make it happen at some point in the future.

Isn’t it nasty doin stuff with some smelly sweaty skater?
I think it’s actually a turn on in a weird way. I just find it more appealing than a clean dude. Lack of hygeine how hot. Ha

How did you find out about Jenkem Magazine?
My friend Leo, a rad skater himself told me about it. He sends me links to different articles all the time. They were brilliant. I love the satire in everything. Most of my friends skate and they always make fun of themselves and I feel like the magazine follows that same sort of humor. Everything is super entertaining. I don’t know how you could not love this shit.

Top 5 bang list of pro skaters
1.) Alex Olson
2.) Shane O’Neil
3.) Paul Rodriguez
4.) Dylan Rieder
5.) Mike Mo Capaldi

Let’s say I was able to hook you up with a date or something with one of the pro skaters mentioned. What would be your ideal date? What would you do to ensure they had a good time?
Just do some hoodrat shit. Start the night off with a few bong rips off the roof of an evicted house, which there are plenty in my neighborhood sadly. Then of course bust out some quality ass alcohol (Steel Reserves, Natty Ice, Burnetts) after that hop in the whip, well that might not be smart buttfuckit, I’ve got that cat life in me Y.O.L.N.T (you only live nine times) ya digg. Go terrorize the people of Walmart. Then he better slather me in sliders from White Castle. Finally, we shall finish the night with a long walk on the beach…..and if he’s worth it..make whoopie.

What do your parents think of your self proclaimed title “Michigan’s #1 ramp tramp”
Well my mom doesn’t really care, although she thinks most of the dudes aren’t going anywhere and I need to start being interested in all the nerdy money makers at school. But I’ll probably just find a group of skaters and kick it with them. Can’t help myself.

What’s your favorite skate video/s?
Currently Boo Johnson’s Future Nature part – he’s so goddamn good. But I went to this premiere at the skatepark by my house, The Streets for the Scumlife video and it was bangin all the footy from the locals from the mitten and some of the time they spent in Arizona.

What’s the best way for a skater to really turn you on?
Well by just being a skater for one, but the long haired skaters man – they really get me all hot and bothered. I don’t know why, just something about the long hair. And you’ll earn brownie points the cleaner your landing and the bigger the gap. Gotta show me how good you really are, ain’t nobody got time for amateurs

Do you ever masturbate to skaters?
Silly question, of course. It’s part of a daily regimen for me just like showering or brushing my teeth. Pop on some footage of Shane O’Neill pullin’ off a switch backside flip and you just got this girl all kinds of hot and bothered. It’s go time at that point.

Why do you like ZIGRAM23 (Shane O’Neill) so much?
What’s not to love about that aussie cyborg? But seriously he’s just unreal, definitely a groundbreaking skater. He’s on a whole other level than a lot of skaters. He’s just so clean and nobody can land a 720 like he does, just flawless. I think his accent is a nice touch too. Not to mention he actually tweeted back at me a few days ago, I think its safe to say he’s ready to define the relationship

What’s one of the most wild nights you’ve ever had?
Man it would have to probably be this party at this local skatepark. Seriously shit reached new levels of weird. I’m pretty sure I was topless, or maybe it was pant-less, or both. Who knows. With the amount of alcohol I consumed that night it’s hard to be sure what I did. I probably came off as an super skank from making out with like everyone there boy or girl buttfuckit. All I remember was waking up in the grass outside the park around like 8am and this semi truck pulled into the surrounding factory building and just looked at me like what the fuck is this girl doing here? Good ass night though so it’s gucci.

What do you want to be known or famous for?
I want to be on TV eventually. I really think I have a lot to offer the world. I’m a wild child and I think I could be legendary for the stuff I say and do. The goal is to get my own TV show where I can talk shit and get weird with the public. I just want to party with the world and bang a few pro skaters, that’s all really.


Words: James Lee
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Comments

  1. switchbsflip 720:

    This bitch went around bragging about this interview before it was even released. Now she realizes how fucking lame she is by trying to cover it up as a joke. Do Michigan Skateboarding a favor and go become East Lansing’s certified glory hole.

  2. fuckyou:

    Too bad she got the dick from derik at the streets that night when she was topless or pantless… But aside from that this girl is nothimg but a sloppy tease who flaunts what she doesnt have. No body wants a peice of anythimg she thinks she has. Hahah halie you are a attention whore.

    • yomomma:

      too bad you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about dick face. you just don’t have a sense of humor, and thats nobody’s fault but yours. ;*

    • Hahaha:

      Too bad Derik doesn’t really give girls “the dick”. And if he were to it wouldn’t be an annoying ass bitch like this…

    • Sleazy Bone:

      Derik does not strike me as the ramp tramp courting type

  3. Halie:
  4. Bobby Puleo:

    Y’all are just catching feelings because she doesn’t like cellar doors.

  5. Halie:

    I genuinely cannot believe some of the drama errupting from the interview,honestly I had fun with it and the fact that so many people are taking it so seriously and sending me like death threats and telling me to kill myself is pretty wack. if you are a skater and were personally offended or butthurt from anything you’ve got some issues..I never meant to make skating look bad, and the rumors that people are spreading are fucked up, I cant believe people dont see the humor in it, alot is being exaggerated. For the record I still am a virgin…Jenkem took that part out so the shit about me being a dirty whore is retarded and false. At the end of the day though, you will believe what you choose to believe and I know what I have and have not done. Those who have supported me and understood the humor behind it I really appreciate, As for those who are speaking so fucking negatively about me you clearly dont know me at all. Like really, death threats? Oh well gotta keep my head up. Fuck the haters

    • Adam Finkle:

      you gotta relax, keep ur head up..
      it’s the internet everyone says crazy shit.. that’s part of it..
      i thought it was funny and enjoyed it. don’t let it get to your head.

    • skaters:

      Your dumb ass shouldn’t have been on this site in the first place.

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