It’s that time of year again folks, and I know you’re contemplating the same thing I am. Do I spend a little cheddar and craft a Halloween costume or do I simply get plastered Halloween night and ignore the “Where’s your costume?” comments.
Whichever you’re thinking, I’m going to urge you to indulge in the festivities this year. We all know Christmas is more exciting with Santa Claus, Thanksgiving is better with a turkey, and you have to admit, Halloween isn’t the same without a costume. It’s for this reason we’ve crafted a few low budget costumes that will be sure to make your skate homies laugh and your non-skate homies ask “WTF?”
THE BRYAN
Have you ever wanted to be part of the crew that pulls off one of the most insane skate contests in existence? Now’s your chance! Slip into your finest denim OshKosh B’gosh and your favorite Vans x Dime collab shoe, slam some poutine, and brush up on your French, yo.
Be sure to get a couple of buddies in on this costume with you, because it’s a team effort after all. You know the saying, Teamwork makes that damn dream work, and it’s true here too. Just imagine pulling up to the party six deep in this outfit. It’s like dressing up as a Stormtrooper the year Star Wars came out, only FAR more niche. IYKYK.
Required Gear:
– Yellow shirt
– Yellow construction helmet
– Overalls
– Vans newest Dime collab shoe
Optional Accessories:
– A positive Canadian outlook
– Speed shades
– Kicker ramp
THE 700K
No one got dragged through the mud more than Mikey Alfred this year, and if Illegal Civilization’s heart is still beating it’s only thanks to an expensive pacemaker. Luckily, even those medical bills don’t cost 700k.
Required Gear:
– Polo t-shirt
– Above the knee khakis
– Cardigan
– Lacoste high socks
– Loafers
Optional Accessories:
– Cool Ranch Doritos
– Colored Pencils
MUSKA BEETS
Well, I definitely did not include “Chad Muska farming career” on my 2023 Bingo card, but seeing him amongst blossoming kale and a crew of groundhogs is pretty sweet. Yes, we’ve done Muska before, but why not embrace his new hobby.
While building this costume don’t forget to include some 90s nostalgia like a tall tee and baggy pants, and if you’re capable let that beard blossom. Listen, this isn’t just any old farmer costume, this is Muska Mutha Fucking Beets. Just because he’s on the farm doesn’t mean he’s not street.
Required Gear:
– Straw hat
– Farming gloves
– White tall tee
– White baggy pants
– Fishing-esque vest
– Plenty of veggies
Optional Accessories:
– Wooden soul beads
– Groundhog bestie
THE DYRDEK
There’s nothing that sums up the legendary 2010s swag era like Rob Dyrdek, and we fully got inspiration for this one after binging skateboarders making red carpet appearances. Dyrdek made a lot of red carpet strides, and I learned two things: 2010 Monster Energy shirts are tight as fuck and Rob is the high king of color coordination.
While I won’t endorse watching Dyrdek’s latest “flow maximizing” video, I will endorse picking your favorite color and hitting the thrift shop for this Halloween fit. Also, if you have a partner, have them dress up as Chanel West Coast, and make sure to give them ample time to perfect the laugh.
Required Gear:
– Monster Energy oversized tee
– DC Shoes New Era Fitted
– True Religion-esque jeans
– Corresponding DC high tops
Optional Accessories:
– Bust down Rolex
– Peak MTV cockiness
THE JAH
Whether you want to call him iconic or outrageous, the Jah has one of the most unique fashion senses in skateboarding. There’s not many people who can hit a 25 stair handrail, pop into a pilates class, and go out for mimosas all in the same outfit, but Nyjah can.
If you’ve been to the gym before you probably have the majority of this costume in your closet, and the addition of your best drawn neck tattoo will be sure to get the message across. Try to grab a Disorder board too, because dressing as the Jah and carrying a Hockey board is like a vampire holding garlic.
Required Gear:
– Monster Energy Hat
– Nike SB shirt or oversized Nike hoodie
– Short gym shorts
– Nyjah shoe / “athletic” shoes
– Mandala tattoos
Optional Accessories:
– Bootleg SLS trophy
– Apple AirPods
– A burning desire to win
THE BLOVAD
I’m honestly unsure how to intro Luke here. Either you’re going to try and digitally castrate me for including him in this list or praise the based gods that the infamous Blovad is making another Jenkem appearance. However you feel about this LA trendsetting skatefluencer, he has hands down one of the most expectation shattering, brazen looks.
He also makes for the perfect costume, because the childrens section of the thrift is cheaper, you don’t have to worry about matching, and the uglier the accessories the better. The name of the game is emojis, Minecraft, and cringe. Bend those gender stereotypes. Who gives a fuck!?
Required Gear:
– Children’s crop top tee
– Loose plaid skirt
– Flashy BB belt
– Wrist warmers/gloves
– Based accessories
Optional Accessories:
– G-string
– Some sort of beverage
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October 26, 2023 10:53 pm
Yeah i am too old for skate media
October 30, 2023 3:45 pm
The first outfit looks like the dude who does “Man Ramp”.