January 24, 2019/ / ARTICLES, RANDOM CRAP/ Comments: 34

Fitting in at a new skatepark is stressful. You don’t know what tricks look cool on what obstacles yet, and you always feel like you’re in everyone’s way. Even if you land a hardflip down the 7-set, nobody is going to give you props if you haven’t earned your rep. So here’s some advice for moving up the skatepark hierarchy. Remember, without respect you’re basically a scooter kid.

1. Offer Free Trick Tips

Landing tricks is hard, and most skaters are too shy to ask for advice. Make it easy by grabbing their board when they are sitting down and showing them the proper technique. Works best if you have a Hockey board or Dime beanie on so they know you’re not just some random dude, but a homie “that knows wassup”.

2. Discreetly offer the goods

Help folks stay chillin by approaching everyone at the park and letting them know that 1) you got fat nugs, 2) they’re dank as fuck, and 3) it’s $40 a gram. After making your rounds, set up a blunt rolling station on the picnic table in the middle of the park so no one misses you.

3. “Gorilla Marketing”

People always want to stay on top of the trends, so make sure everyone at your park knows all about your upcoming brand. They’ll be eager to buy your patented grip tape, bushings, or wireless headphones at the park, but it’s better to stay exclusive and just tell them to follow your brand on @Instagram. Just make sure to remind ‘em who put them on ;)

4. Do Your Part

Say it with me, C o m m u n i t y. Skateboarding is all about looking out for the sk9 community, So even if you can’t skate every rail or ledge, don’t be afraid to wax something if you see someone sticking on it. Skating is like cooking: you can never have too much butter.

5. Keep It Real

You seen the movie KIDS? Those guys all became legends, so just do what they did. Keep the park up to date with that authentic urban feel by starting fights with skaters, spray painting your tag on the ramps, and spitting as much as possible to mark your territory. Respekt!

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  1. edward sebastian clothing co. rip

    January 25, 2019 10:25 am

    Lest we Forget: – Kids – is about scumbags raping women…

  2. Crashley

    January 25, 2019 11:56 am

    Yeah totally be like the skaters on KIDS, WAIT wasn’t one of them a rapist?

    How about…


    Horrible article

    Hope it’s a joke

  3. Grapee

    January 25, 2019 12:55 pm

    Jenkem has gone so far into the shithole that this article could be both sarcastic and 100% serious at the same time. What the fuck happened to you?

  4. Claire

    January 25, 2019 1:24 pm

    At Paine’s in Philly, it’s basically as follows:

    1. Sit on the long ledge in the middle slice, where all the other skaters sit. Smoke cigarettes.
    2. Once or twice in the hour, get on your Real board and do a 180 no-comply.
    3. Sit down.

    For bonus points, act like a complete shitbag toward any women or queer skaters who show up.

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