Our Agent Orange President is at it again, and this time he’s got skateboarding in his crosshairs. In his latest unprovoked rant on Twitter, President Trump twiddled away with his tiny thumbs to attack some of skateboarding’s finest representatives in a no-holds-barred roast fest.

According to unverifiable sources within the White House, the President is looking to set up an impromptu committee to vet American skaters for the 2020 Olympic Games. One aide told Jenkem, “We’re going to be the best. All of our skaters will be in the Ten Club.” Though the Tweet storm that Trump fired out has since been deleted – we managed to snag a few screenshots and have presented them with our comments for posterity below. You can thank us later.

Trump started off the storm with what can only be expected, throwing some hate towards the beloved Brian Anderson, who recently came out to the public…

Then he started going in on presumed foreigners, taking aim on the brand run by Paul Rodriguez (an American)…

But, apparently, all skaters aren’t bad in Trump’s cloudy eyes. He’s got a soft-spot for some uber-American skateboarding slices of white bread…

Just because you’re American doesn’t mean you get a free pass. Trump takes time to criticize the more colorful characters in skateboarding for repping their city and being themselves…

And to end the night off, it looks like Trump got turned on to some women rippers…

Breaking Scoop: Larry Lanza
Master Illustrator: Mike Giurato
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