Just because you’re too lazy to come up with a Halloween costume of your own doesn’t mean you have to show up to the party in street clothes like a bore. Here are six iconic skateboarding costumes that will be sure to get you some high fives and a free beer. Every outfit can be put together with crap you already own in your closet or can grab for a couple bucks at your local thrift store. Some of these ‘fits cost as little as $3! So don’t be a kook with no costume, be a kook in the kookiest costume!

If you’re feeling it, add @jenkemmag and hashtag #jenkycostumes in a photo on Instagram of your best, worst, or most idiotic costume rendition so we can follow along.

Tom Penny

The essence of Penny is in his eyes. Squint hard but keep everything else effortless. Pull that off and you too might be able to stretch your skate career into the longest European vacation ever.

Gear:
– two or three XL long T-shirts
– beanie pulled blindingly low
– baggy jeans with added sag

Estimated Cost: $20

The Phelper

If you don’t care about being pro and just refuse to stop skateboarding or moisturize your elbows, this maniac’s for you. Bonus points if you hill bomb into a cop car.

Gear:
– zip-up vest (Carhartt’s getting too expensive, so anything industrial will work)
– baggy jeans
– white short sleeve button up shirt
– sweater vest (more punk than prep)
– black rimmed glasses (not to improve your vision, but to help you see society’s lies)

Estimated Cost: $25

cherry clone

If you didn’t nail puberty the first time around, you can easily go back and crush it as a Supreme teen dream. Just remember to tuck everything in, including your dong.

Gear:
– white T-shirt with red box logo (or just scribble with a red sharpie or paint marker)
– blue jeans and scissors to cut them into mom-length capris
– Converse All-Stars (sorry, no substitutes)
– skinny belt to cinch your gut

Estimated Cost: $40-$60

J Cassa Nova

Multiply your clout times three by becoming the number one molly man. WARNING: Your rap skills will become so impressive you may find yourself fighting off record labels and beautiful women who only want you for your swag.

Gear:
– large crew neck sweatshirt
– baggy jeans to accommodate that trouser anaconda
– plastic jewelry (if you can’t find plastic jewelry, tape a plastic gold coin to a strand of gold Mardi Gras beads)
– beanie pulled up like a Smurf
– marker to draw as many face and neck tats as you like

Estimated Cost: $15

The Muska

Prove your devotion to the one true God, Muska, by blessing yourself in his likeness. The kids will love you, coked out celebrities will love you, and most importantly, you’ll love yourself.

Gear:
– red tank top (with printed out TSA logo to tape on)
– swishy pants, the poofier the better
– red hat
– sweat bands, as many as you can fit
– boom box to keep the party going until your D batteries run out

Estimated Cost: $40

Jaws

The easiest costume on the list once you embrace Jaws’ “zero fucks given” philosophy. A great way to get free drinks too because you can tell everyone you had to leave your wallet at home.

Gear:
– funnel with plastic tube (for butt chugging)
– no fear

Estimated Cost: $3

Comments

  1. Dicks4spics

    October 26, 2017 12:02 pm

    This was the second best jenkem article ever. The first entry on the list looked more like donovan strain than tom penny. Keep up the good shit.

  2. tell me

    October 26, 2017 12:12 pm

    ^ what’s the first @dicks4pics?

  3. Johan

    October 26, 2017 1:03 pm

    The Cherry Clone had me cracking the fuck up. Worst. Trend. Ever.

  4. Tyler

    October 26, 2017 1:26 pm

    *XXXL tshirts

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