As spring approaches and kids everywhere turn to their skateboards to bring them out of their winter slumps, toy companies start hitting the stores with the latest and greatest in plastic gimmicks. The newest monstrosity is MorfBoard, an all-plastic convertible skateboard, balance board, “bounce” board, and *TRIGGER WARNING* scooter.

MorfBoards go for about $100 each and should be popping up like oozing zits at skateparks around the country this summer. The concept behind the product uses the board component of a skateboard as a platform for swapping in components to create other dumb toys. And according to the brand’s website, the four components shown in their Michael Bay style promo video — skateboard, scooter, bounce board, and balance board — are just the beginning of a theoretical “Morf universe” they plan to expand with even more wacky “Xtensions.” Maybe their next “Xtension” can be a pair of metal handcuffs to turn the board into one of those medieval torture devices.

To further solidify their kook level, MorfBoard recently teamed up with a self-proclaimed “AirBoard choreographer” to film a music video/advertisement for his terrible pop song, “Cruisin With You.” In the video, three Nick Carter type guys on a Los Angeles rooftop use their MorfBoards as dance partners as they show you the kind of endlessly embarrassing moves you can pull on the worst skateboard knock off since Ripstiks. Unfortunately, the video cuts out before the dancers got a chance to Morf their ways off the roof.

The MorfBoard isn’t really anything new. It’s just the latest in a long line of atrociously dumb toys trying to siphon off a portion of those sweet sweet skateboard profits. We don’t know how long it will last, but hopefully, a little kid somewhere gets hurt on it soon enough and his mom sues MorfBoard into foreclosure. Until then, whenever a kid asks to try your skateboard, for God’s sake let them try it. You could help avoid the tragedy of them getting into MorfBoarding instead.

Words: Nic Dobija-Nootens
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