November 9, 2011/ / ARTICLES/ Comments: 3



Freestyles – Anyone with Youtube knows that bums can freestyle, so grab your “smart phone”, buy them a 40oz, and let them get all that pent-up frustration out. Who knows, you might discover the next million-view crack head.

Smoke them out – Weed is meant to be shared, so don’t be a dick and let that fool take a couple hits. Unless they have herpes… then you’re just kinda fucked.

Give them left-overs – Stop throwing away that half-sandwich, dude. Just hand it to the next slime ball you see laying on a street-side mattress. It’s economical, not to mention a nice thing to do.

Point them in the right direction – Which is always away from you.

Ollie them – Or if you can, do a kickflip. It’s fucking enjoyable.


Give them money – Fuck that.

Let them use your skateboard – Aside from the fact that I hardly let anyone ride my board, I would never let a random bum. Call me a douche, but when the outcome will likely consist of mud stained grip and a compound fracture, you’re probably doing them a favor.

Check out their art – Yes, I’m aware that there are probably some amazing artists living on the streets, but there is a very high chance that you’ll end up following this dude to a box filled with a bunch of acid trip bullshit.

Smoke their weed – Can’t fuck around these days. You might end up scratching through your belly and running naked in to heavily polluted river or lake. Not worth it.

Follow them – Seriously, where the fuck could they possibly be taking you?

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  1. alex

    November 28, 2011 1:48 pm

    “Follow them – Seriously, where the fuck could they possibly be taking you?” – Home

  2. Paul Domingues The real One

    February 27, 2018 12:54 pm

    They bring you over the rainbow dude.

  3. bing

    November 2, 2022 7:14 am

    i give them money for heroin because im not a pompous dickhead… like the author, who needs to spend a few months on the street to learn empathy

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