July 4, 2011/ / Uncategorized/ Comments: 52

Mark Gonzales: Want to commit a travesty and be shunned by fellow skateboarders? Say something bad about Mark Gonzales. Actually it doesn’t even have to be bad, just next time Mark is brought up, be like, “yeah, he’s ok…” Just by calling The Gonz “OK” will get people to flip the fuck out and talk about how he invented street skating and scribbly artwork. He’s one of those dudes that people automatically know they should say they like regardless of whether or not they know anything about them, kinda like Radiohead or Bob Dylan.

Jason Lee: Another dude who was killing it while you were busy pooping your pants. Anyone under the age of twenty something that claims Jason Lee is their favorite skater is probably lying. The only reason these people rave about how awesome he is, is because they have seen him on TV, making big time screen appearances and oogle at the fact that they can tell people that he’s a former pro skater. They also love to prove to their parents that there is life after skateboarding other then doing drugs or becoming a team manager. Other then that, he has great style, lines and legendary backside flips but it’s not like people really care about this shit because it doesn’t score higher then a 9 on Street League.

Tom Penny: OK, so you saw this clip, where Rob Dyrdek rants and raves about how legendary Tom Penny is and how he “totally shut down this spot”. We know that Tom Penny in his hayday was amazing and is one of the most naturally gifted skateboarders ever. But just because he fucking killed it 10 years ago, doesn’t mean you have to be riding his dick hard in 2011. Translation: You are not any cooler if you like Tom Penny. Especially when his new footage looks like crusty b sides between bong hits. Fuck have you seen his recent shit? Nice N sloppy. What about Extremely Sorry? And you go on Slap and people are still like “LEGEND” or “THIS GUY CAN DO NO WRONG”. Buncha Zealots.
Words: James Lee

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  1. random

    April 3, 2021 8:06 pm

    Article should have just been called, “Thee Skater* Everyone Pretends to Like More Than They Actually Do”, had a picture of Mark Gonzalez, made the comparison to Bob Dylan, and called it a day.

  2. justin muir

    May 5, 2021 1:25 pm

    Older you get the less you care about professional skateboards. The younger the less interesting.

  3. Mr No more baggy fucking jeans please

    June 19, 2021 3:52 am

    The 90s/00s are dead. There are far more intresting skaters around and the best are the ones skating transition, bowls and vert. No one wants to watch some guy in his 30s flip/grinding a ledge at walking pace. The new kids are blasting bowls and airs at warp speed. 80s influenced… that’s why guys like Hawk, Hosoi, Mountain, Caballero are all still high profile.

    • 1996

      November 8, 2021 10:26 pm

      **correction above** no one wants to hear a bitch ass nobody like ^^ opinion on legends. Respect your elders and respect the lineage, now get back to folding my underwear punk.

  4. Brik

    August 1, 2022 8:42 am


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