It’s easy to hate reading, and I understand why. Reading books reminds us of school, and school, for the vast majority of us, sucked. Five paragraph essays, book reports, pop quizzes… I’m zoning out now just thinking about it.

It was only until years later I found out that this reading thing wasn’t too bad. I could pick up a book and secretly learn about stuff like drug overdoses and aliens, all between the cover of these books, and no one would ever know. It was magazines like Big Brother and the 1 or 2 “cool teachers” who recommended some key literature that ignited the spark.

Hoping to pass the reading bug on, I hit up a bunch of our contributors and respected writers and asked them to recommend some books for lazy skateboarders. So, if you ever decide to pick up one of these ancient artifacts, or just want to bulk up your collection, we have a handy little list here for you to enjoy.

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1. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver

“Books for lazy skaters…if they’re truly lazy I’d suggest reading a blank notebook. There’s no text and they’ll be done reading it in no time at all. I prefer the tiny pocket moleskins.

As for an actual book I always tell people to start with Raymond Carver. Carver was a drunk who never managed to write a novel. Only poems and short stories, and he is the master of the short story. His stories range from 2 – 8 pages, and what he packs into those short tales will knock you on your ass.

I read and reread a story from What We Talk About When We Talk About Love probably on a monthly basis. Carver, Bukowski, Fante all wrote in a very simple, yet moving way. It’s the voice of the people. No flowery writing that takes six pages to say, “It was raining.” I’m not a great writer. I barely finished high school. The words I use are the same ones that I’d use if telling a story to my friends at the bar and so I am inspired by writers who write the way real people speak. Carver is my hands down favorite. But if you’re truly a lazy skater you can always NetFlix Short Cuts, the film Robert Altman made out of some of Carver’s short stories.” – Chris Nieratko


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2. Distant Star by Roberto Bolaño

“To read Distant Star by Roberto Bolaño is to ask yourself: what is the difference between skateboarders and poets? The answer: barely anything. Different medium, different language. Beyond these two, the spirit of each is precisely the same as the other. This is a novel that considers the basic attraction to scandal and spectacle. A phrase is a trick and a verse is a line. A sample, from p.57: “He appeared and disappeared like a ghost whenever there was fighting, wherever desperate, generous, mad, courageous, despicable Latin Americans were destroying, rebuilding, and destroying reality…”

This book is what I imagine a man like Jake Phelps would read if Phelps was someone who read regularly. Maybe the Phelps we know is this Phelps. Maybe he reads. Maybe, secretly, he reads RideChannel articles and doesn’t much give a fuck.” – Kyle Beachy


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3. The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosiński

“When Chris Nieratko started at Big Brother he was heavily under the influence of, well, prescription pills, but also Hunter S. Thompson and Charles Bukowski. Fine writers, both of them, but the bravado and machismo can become a bit tiring and one dimensional after awhile. And Chris’s writing was a reflection of that. ‘I got fucked up, then I fucked a whore! Then I got fucked up again! Check me out!’

I decided that Chris needed to broaden his horizons and read some proper literature. But what to recommend to someone who only knows Bukowski? I didn’t want to give him Dickens or some shit like that, but even someone like Dostoevsky might be unable to capture his attention. So I met with then Hustler editor Allan MacDonell (one of the smartest men I know) and asked him what he thought. The Painted Bird, he said without missing a beat. ‘Oh fuck,’ I said. ‘Yeah, you’re right. Why didn’t I think of that?’ So I gave Nieratko a copy. I don’t think he read it, though, because, as you well know, his writing still sucks. I’M KIDDING. Chill out. Chris should be recommending me books. I want to know what that dude is on these days.

Anyway, it’s a fucked up book. It’s about a wandering boy’s encounters with World War II peasants engaged in all forms of sexual and social deviance such as incest, bestiality and rape, and in other forms of extreme violence exciting lust. Semi-autobiographical? Perhaps. I’ll let your readers do their own research. I really liked it, although I would not consider Kosinski one of my favorite authors. He’s not even in the top 10. We can have that discussion another time. But The Painted Bird is a good introduction to literature for a deviant mind.” – Dave Carnie


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4. A Massive Swelling by Cintra Wilson

“Long before the Urban Outfitter-friendly Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs diluted it, Cintra Wilson’s A Massive Swelling perfected a voice, tone and perspective that would eventually become a standard (perhaps even played out) in skateboarding and pop culture commentary. Anyone putting pen to paper/fingers to keyboard will learn from Massive. If you fancy yourself a writer, a critic, a satirist, sarcastic or snarky, or enjoy reading pop culture criticism in any form, including skateboarding, then Cintra is your Queen Bee.” – Robert Brink


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5. In Persuasion Nation by George Saunders

“Skateboarders should read this book, A) because it’s funny and B) because it is concise. You can read every short story in less than an hour, and as a collection, it constitutes a brilliant argument against invasive marketing/corporations. This is something we should be especially aware of as skateboarders. On a side note, one of the stories involves a guy’s penis falling off into the Grand Canyon.” – Morley Musick


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6. Who Are You People? by Shari Caudron

“Every skateboarder is at least vaguely aware that skating is misunderstood by the general populace. In Who Are You People? Shari Caudron joins and investigates various groups of weirdos – from ice fishermen to “Grobanites” to furries and cosplayers – to better understand fanatical lifestyles.

It’s a quick read; each chapter is its own little vignette about a group she joined. She offers interesting insights into fandoms and the effects they have on culture, and it may help you as a skater (translation: member of a giant fandom) understand how and why people think and act the way they do about their hobbies, whether it’s the giant model train set your uncle builds in his basement or the crates of VHS tapes hidden in every 30-something skater’s house.” – Ian Graham


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7. Secrets & Surprises by Ann Beattie

“I’m suggesting two titles because they’re both collections of short stories and they’re compliments to each other. First up is Where I’m Calling From by Raymond Carver, in fact you can steal it here. Carver’s short stories can really be about anything or nothing. Skipping school to go fishing or arguing with women (something he’s really good at), anyone can relate to his stories because they’re direct and unpretentious. Unfortunately, he was also an alcoholic asshole, which is pretty common among great writers.

That’s why I also recommend you read Secrets & Surprises by Ann Beattie. Beattie’s short stories are like Carvers in that they aren’t about “big moments” or “life changing events,” (that shit is played out and corny). Does anyone want to read about a junkie’s redemption or a rags to riches story anymore? I don’t, so I read well written short stories about pretty regular shit and it makes you sound super smart.

So yeah, read Beattie because she’s great and it offsets Carver’s wife-beating alcoholism. Bonus: you can read like 1.5 stories in each and pretend you read the whole book and no one will know.” – Anthony Pappalardo


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8. Skinema by Chris Nieratko

“Sex stories. Drug Stories. Dumb stories. If you enjoy the ramblings of Chris Nieratko, Skinema has got them all, broken up into little bite sized stories and rants disguised as porno reviews. This one is a good travel companion and probably best for anyone that has severe ADD, as every page is essentially a new story, so if you start spacing out by the 3rd sentence, just turn the page and read the next smutty tale.” – Ian Michna


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9. Train Dreams by Denis Johnson

Train Dreams by Denis Johnson is the best casual evidence that fiction is capable of rearranging time. In other words doing the unique thing that fiction does. The novel opens with the attempted murder of a railroad worker and ends many, many years later, after fires and deaths and freaks and ghost dogs and trains. It is a very short novel and asks only that you pay attention to the main character, who is a man like you or your friends.” – Kyle Beachy


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10. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

The Old Man and the Sea by literary bad-ass Ernest Hemingway is a classic tale of Man vs Nature – if you can consider a gigantic fish Nature. Hemingway was known for his economy of language; he wrote very simply, plainly and to the point, using just the right words to tell the tale and nothing more. This story matches that plot: simple and direct, but oh so powerful. An old Cuban fisherman in the depths in a long stretch with no catches hooks a massive marlin that pulls him further and further out to sea in his tiny skiff. Neither creature is willing to relent, and each has only the power and will they were born with to combat their opponent.The arc of the story is tragic, beautiful and totally manly all at once.

The book earned Hemingway the Pulitzer prize and was his last full-length novel before he decided to kill himself with a shotgun rather than grow old and weak. It’s only 125 pages so you can plow through it without a massive time investment, and you’ll be glad you did.” – Mark Whiteley


Comments

  1. Michael Twardowski

    November 12, 2014 12:07 pm

    Really downplay carver and beattie
    Minamalism is sometimes stronger then hyper descriptive writing (case in point, Infinite Jest which sounds like a 5th grader flipping through a dictionary, a thesaurus, a drug encyclopadia)

    Reply
  2. Yaknar

    November 13, 2014 7:39 am

    These are my favorites from each author:

    “Sirens of Titan” – Kurt Vonnegut
    “Ham on Rye” – Bukowski
    “100 Years of Solitude” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
    “Dune” – Frank Herbert
    “Cometbus #52: The Spirit of St. Louis” by Aaron Cometbus
    “No Man Knows My History” (A biography of Joseph Smith) by Fawn Brodie
    “Ishmael” by Daniel Quinn
    National Geographic Magazines rock.
    I also grew up reading the “Harry Potter” series by J.K. Rowling, and that shit was the coolest back then. While I don’t know if its actually good writing or if I would enjoy them now, the story is good and wizards and magic and shit are fucking rad.

    Earlier this year I went to jail for a weekend and in there I read “The Bourne Identity”. I thought I would fly through it because it’s a thriller and I liked the movie, but the book kinda sucked. The story is way less exciting than Matt Damon running around on the big screen and surprisingly contains a lot of writing about international banking policies and bureaucracy, which is boring as fuck and does not help pass the time.

    After I finished that, the only other books left were the bible, Twilight, a dozen Louis L’amour books, and a cooking-themed murder mystery series. Though I’d watched all the movies with my girlfriend and secretly kind of enjoyed them, I was embarrassed to pick up Twilight, even though it was my best option. No one said anything to me about it and I only got about 150 pages in before I was released, but I thought it wasn’t bad.

    Reply
    • Mr. Baloney Tits

      November 20, 2014 6:16 am

      If you like Bukowski read Journey to the End of the Night by Louis Ferdinand-Celine; it’s just a brutal takedown of society and everyone in it. I mean, Celine makes Bukowski look like Mr. fucking Rogers. The Bible is actually a pretty good book if you can get past all the end of the world is coming stuff. But the actual bits on how to live and relate to other human beings, even if you’re not religious, the actual teachings of Christ contain some of the greatest wisdom ever written down. Not only the substance of his points but his rhetorical style – layered, persuasive, colossally entertaining. The reason the Bible stuck around so long is because there is real wisdom in it. More wisdom than any other book.

      About a decade ago I got hit with a 364 of which I served 8 months, and I read for at least three, four hours a day. All I did was read and work out. Couldn’t watch TV cause the brothas had the thing monopolized and the only fucking channel they watched was BET. I read Stephen King’s The Stand, which is over a thousand pages, in like four days, no joke. In the county I was in you could get as many books as you wanted, you just had to have someone go to the bookstore and have the store mail the books directly to the jail. I’d call my girlfriend up and give her a list to take to Barnes and Noble, a week later I’d have a stack of books in my cell.

      Reply
  3. Olli

    November 14, 2014 7:13 am

    Check the trailer for the first ever “Skateboard Thriller” book entitled “‘Rollen voll Blut” available in all bookstores around germany but currently only in german language.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li3lgLip81o

    (if anyone likes to translate this book into english language, don’t hesitate to contact me. There will be a big marked in the us)

    Contact: info (at) unsichtbar-verlag.de (you can also find the following book: „Bomb Drop Desaster“ at http://www.unsichtbar-verlag.de

    Reply
  4. Kilgore

    November 15, 2014 6:23 pm

    Any Vonnegut. The man is (was) a genius. Also having read a large portion of Hemingway’s work The Old Man and the Sea is the fucking worst. It is highschool required reading, and you will be bored to tears.

    Reply

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