“Forget” people you’ve met before: It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve met the person, if they aren’t in your crew, just pretend you don’t remember them. Imagine you have short term memory loss, and when they introduce themselves for the 4th time or mention how you’ve met you before, say something like, “yeah, seems kind of familiar..” and squint like it’s some hazy long lost memory.

Vibe people out: You know when you were the little kid at the skatepark and were both fascinated and intimidated by those cool older kids? That’s the feeling you want to evoke in everyone you meet. The easiest way to do this is to not look at the person talking to you, make descreet jokes about them behind their back and basically act like a middle school girl.

Say the opposite of everyone else: If everyone thinks the new Girl video is good, it’s just “OK.” If they think the DGK video was wack, lecture them on how fucking amazing it is. This keeps you ahead of the cool curve, because let’s face it – what most people think is cool, is totally wack.

Everyone is “your boy”: When someone mentions a pro skater or local shredder, make sure to casually let them know how they’re totally, “your boy.” You guys go “way back.” If the person lives far away or in another country, just say he’s “friends with my boy.” Boom! It keeps it generic enough where you don’t have to name any specifics, while still making you look like the fuckin’ man.

Do the hot tricks: There are thousands of different tricks in skateboarding, but not all are created equal – no matter how “steezy.” Usually, the best way to find out what’s cool these days is to check out the latest raw east coast vid or whatever montage SLAP posters are jerking off to that month. Learn a couple of those tricks, wear some sort of blue-collar working mans uniform and you should be having your dick sucked by skatenerds in no time.

Comments

  1. dicksquad

    May 15, 2013 8:25 pm

    if it’s an east coast video it’s probably just a lot of front shuvs, 50-50’s, crooked grinds on rough looking ground and then maybe some kickflips or tre flips, but they are so good beacuse ” d00d east coast has bad weather and rough ground these guys are good did you see that line of a front shuv on the crub crok that ledge kickflip off the curb?!?!!?!?!?1″

    Yep thats the peak of east coast skating which is why despite being from Boston i don’t even fuck with east coast videos ugh

    Reply
    • Corsi

      February 15, 2015 11:57 am

      You’d rather watch Street League and watch people earn “mad points”? You are a clown if you like that stupid robot skating opposed to East Coast shit.

      Reply
  2. Jordan

    February 7, 2014 11:51 am

    The more you like Dylan rieder the more cool you are

    Reply
  3. unforgetable

    March 18, 2014 12:49 am

    people won’t forget you if you;

    do gnarly tricks,
    have a sick style,
    are a nice person,
    are fairly unique in any way,
    look like a weirdo…

    if you’re a skater and you can’t hit any of these points, well I guess you could always write articles for an online skate mag.

    Reply
  4. Andrew

    July 20, 2014 3:41 pm

    i do number one all the time, do you have any idea how high we are when going to the skatepark. i come home and its as if the only thing i remember is how i got these bruises.

    Reply
    • BornTooLate

      April 1, 2015 4:18 pm

      I legitimately do the first one, all over my life, let alone a skate spot where hundreds of people roll in. I remember of course people who skate there on a steady basis. It has to do with trust I think. Even if I know people’s names I will still doubt that I have them down for fear of saying wrong names.

      Reply

Leave a comment