“Forget” people you’ve met before: It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve met the person, if they aren’t in your crew, just pretend you don’t remember them. Imagine you have short term memory loss, and when they introduce themselves for the 4th time or mention how you’ve met you before, say something like, “yeah, seems kind of familiar..” and squint like it’s some hazy long lost memory.
Vibe people out: You know when you were the little kid at the skatepark and were both fascinated and intimidated by those cool older kids? That’s the feeling you want to evoke in everyone you meet. The easiest way to do this is to not look at the person talking to you, make descreet jokes about them behind their back and basically act like a middle school girl.
Say the opposite of everyone else: If everyone thinks the new Girl video is good, it’s just “OK.” If they think the DGK video was wack, lecture them on how fucking amazing it is. This keeps you ahead of the cool curve, because let’s face it – what most people think is cool, is totally wack.
Everyone is “your boy”: When someone mentions a pro skater or local shredder, make sure to casually let them know how they’re totally, “your boy.” You guys go “way back.” If the person lives far away or in another country, just say he’s “friends with my boy.” Boom! It keeps it generic enough where you don’t have to name any specifics, while still making you look like the fuckin’ man.
Do the hot tricks: There are thousands of different tricks in skateboarding, but not all are created equal – no matter how “steezy.” Usually, the best way to find out what’s cool these days is to check out the latest raw east coast vid or whatever montage SLAP posters are jerking off to that month. Learn a couple of those tricks, wear some sort of blue-collar working mans uniform and you should be having your dick sucked by skatenerds in no time.
Related Posts
-
THE BEST WAYS TO PLAY OFF EATING SHIT IN PUBLIC
We’ve compiled a list of options to weaken the blow of your next embarrassing slam
-
A COLLECTION OF SKATE PARTS THAT AGED WELL PT. 2
We're back with seven more slept-on parts that you might want to consider rewatching.
-
OUR FAVORITE PRO SKATER STORIES SUBMITTED BY YOU
We asked our readers to share their most vivid encounters from over the years. These are just a few of our favorites out of the hundreds you sent.
-
WE SEARCHED FOR THE WORST SKATEBOARD RAP LYRICS
Rapping about skateboarding is never a good idea.
-
SKATERS AND THEIR RAPPER EQUIVALENTS
Who would be the Drake of skateboarding? Has any skater ever dealt enough drugs to be compared to Pusha-T?
-
WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN’T LAND A TRICK
We compiled a list of recommendations to put to use the next time you find yourself in the middle of a trick battle.
-
TIRED OF THE INTERNET? CHECK OUT THESE PRINTED SKATE MAGS
We compiled a list of print mags and zines for you to hunt down.
-
IS SKATEBOARDING “SOFT” NOWADAYS?
If you're yearning for wilder, less role model-able pros, we put together a list of the skate crews keeping that reckless spirit alive today.
Comments
Popular
-
THE RISE AND FALL OF PRO MODEL SKATE SHOES
While there are still some exceptions, the signature shoe has largely evaporated from the skateboard industry. But, why?
-
A CHAT WITH LUDVIG HAKANSSON, THE OLDEST SOUL IN SKATEBOARDING
The man loves to read Nietzche, skates in some expensive vintage gear, and paints in his own neoclassical-meets-abstract-expressionist style.
-
A LOOK THROUGH THE GLASSES OF VINCE PALMER, AKA CHICKEN LITTLE
Get to know the 18-year-old German repping Baker and Supreme in Milan.
-
WHO ARE THE SKATERS RESURRECTING ROCK CLIMBING IN UPPER MANHATTAN?
We met up with Joel Popoteur, an employee at Supreme and long-time skater to learn about his outdoor movement.
-
GOT OLD WHEELS? THIS GUY IS MAKING MINI FINGERBOARD REPLICAS WITH THEM
Honey, I Shrunk The Spitfires.
May 15, 2013 8:25 pm
if it’s an east coast video it’s probably just a lot of front shuvs, 50-50’s, crooked grinds on rough looking ground and then maybe some kickflips or tre flips, but they are so good beacuse ” d00d east coast has bad weather and rough ground these guys are good did you see that line of a front shuv on the crub crok that ledge kickflip off the curb?!?!!?!?!?1″
Yep thats the peak of east coast skating which is why despite being from Boston i don’t even fuck with east coast videos ugh
February 15, 2015 11:57 am
You’d rather watch Street League and watch people earn “mad points”? You are a clown if you like that stupid robot skating opposed to East Coast shit.
February 7, 2014 11:51 am
The more you like Dylan rieder the more cool you are
March 18, 2014 12:49 am
people won’t forget you if you;
do gnarly tricks,
have a sick style,
are a nice person,
are fairly unique in any way,
look like a weirdo…
if you’re a skater and you can’t hit any of these points, well I guess you could always write articles for an online skate mag.
July 20, 2014 3:41 pm
i do number one all the time, do you have any idea how high we are when going to the skatepark. i come home and its as if the only thing i remember is how i got these bruises.
April 1, 2015 4:18 pm
I legitimately do the first one, all over my life, let alone a skate spot where hundreds of people roll in. I remember of course people who skate there on a steady basis. It has to do with trust I think. Even if I know people’s names I will still doubt that I have them down for fear of saying wrong names.