5 EMBARRASSING ARTICLES WRITTEN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING BY NON-SKATERS

As skateboarding’s popularity grows, mainstream news outlets will continue to try and grab a piece of the action. And in skateboarding, it’s never more apparent and embarrassing when an outsider tries to dive into the culture and really understand “us”. The result is usually a bunch of awkwardly described tricks and some mention of skaters being outlaws or rebels. And then once in a while you get the kooky ones that really just totally miss the mark. These are some of those ones:

1. Mike Mo Capaldiā€™s Sponsor Me Video Leaves the Vault
So Mike Mo and Spitfire made a pretty hilarious fake sponsor me tape which any skateboarder would know is obviously a total joke. Unfortunately, poor Ms. Gonzalez – an “expert” on skateboarding doesn’t quite catch on, as she dissects it, explaining the reason it is such a “killer sponsor me tape”. Whoops!

2. How to Not Look Too Silly on a Skateboard
This one should really just be entitled “How To Look Like A Longboarder Kook In 5 Easy Steps”. The best part is when the author suggests buying “new skateboard technology” like Crash Pads, which is padded underwear. You mind as well wear a diaper and stuff yourself with some tampons at that point.

3. How to Attract a Skater
The fact that there are articles out there aimed at the “tween” demographic about how to attract sk8rs just shows how far we have come.

4. If You Like To Skateboard I Hope You Never Have Children
This college grad tried to write a snarky little article making fun of skateboarders, attempting to bring some traffic to this shitty Long Island news blog. Instead he ended up getting a bunch of death threats and ended up having to apologize to the entire skate community. Sorry buddy!

5. Skateboard Slang – How to Use Skateboarder Slang
It’s hard to continue reading after the author starts defining the differences between “Stoked” and “Sick”.


Words: James Lee
Original Illustration: Michael Giurato
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Comments

  1. jeem soo:

    omg thank you for the lovely websites. These will surely help me gain the respect of my fellow sk8bo4rd3rz. Butt pad shopping I go!

  2. You gotta check this one out too: Posers vs Slow Learners.

    http://skateboard.about.com/b/2010/02/01/posers-vs-slow-learners-whats-the-difference.htm

    I’ve been telling people for years! Guys, I’m just a slow learner!

  3. mr.shitt:

    there has got to be even worse ones out there…

  4. sj:

    Heck.yeah. I love Spiritfire trucks

  5. da kid:

    it really doesn’t get any better than article #1
    that dumbass mom… cheez.

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