Street_Kids_Jenkem_Assholes

What happens when suburban white guys take tribal worship too far? Street kids. Who are street kids? They’re assholes.

From a distance, a street kid appears like any other bum: dirty clothes, matted hair, a rucksack with their few possessions. But as you approach, and probably only moments before the proprietary blend of questions: “Spare a dollar?”, “Got a cig?”, “Can I have your leftovers?”, you may notice straight teeth, a fair complexion, Doc Martins, and other relics of the street kid’s former suburban self. Perhaps even a MacBook is stuffed in his backpack—because how else can he update his “Livn Phree” blog?

Before you can muster a “fuck off”, he’s walking next to you telling a fabricated sob story, or if you’re especially unlucky, he’s already begun playing a tune on his guitar. You cross the street, but–son of a bitch–he’s right behind you bellowing Bob Marley as his blonde dreadlocks flop around like dried turds in a windstorm. When he’s finished spouting his aural diarrhea, you can expect to owe him at least a dollar, because, “I gotta live, man.” So go home, shit head.

The street kid didn’t earn his homelessness through psychosis, poor financial decisions or a respectable drug addiction. He simply packed his bags and hit the cul-de-sac following an argument with his parents about his “lifestyle” or some other First World non-problem. “I don’t need any of this stuff, mom.” Now he’s out to prove something, though I’m not sure what and I doubt he does either. Nothing will keep him from his goal, whatever that may be. Nothing. Except maybe winter, lack of food and shelter, or the realization that being homeless is fucking terrible.

Provided he doesn’t get shanked, or raped and murdered, the street kid will eventually retreat to his parents tudor outside the city. He’ll curl into his bed and reflect on his spectacularly useless existence, one so void of meaning, a hippie would even call him a lazy low-life.

Comments

  1. mbah buyut

    August 6, 2013 5:32 pm

    Scate in my country is okey, popular

    Reply
  2. KSTR

    September 8, 2013 5:53 pm

    “Everybody else than me and my other accomplishing skateboarder friends are total scum”
    Filling otherwise good blog with personal rant escalations is about the same level of assholery as you seem to find in these street kids.

    Reply
  3. Jay

    May 11, 2014 1:27 pm

    Because the psychological impact of being raised by unfit parents (no matter how much money they have and how much they spend on their kids to buy their love) in a depressing, apathetic, lazy, oppressive, Christian suburb isn’t a viable reason for a teenager to want to escape and try to emulate the lifestyle of people (real and fictitious) whom they have romanticized. In fact, I would argue that these kids who left their comfortable suburban lives behind to experience the total opposite (even if they still have their laptop from home) are doing something you didn’t have the balls to do. Maybe you played it safe, or maybe you had a hard life and you’re jealous that these kids are doing what they want without having to work for it. It’s natural to be angry with someone who is surviving (and even has things you don’t) without being a part of the capitalist machine (and by that I mean the system of working regularly for money which is traded for shelter, food, goods and services and competing over a lifetime to earn more so one can have more than someone else).

    I can’t help but find the irony in someone from a skateboarding blog criticizing an outcast from the suburbs who hasn’t quite figured it out yet. I know that skateboarding now is cool and accepted, but it wasn’t always like this. Teenagers are still children in many aspects. We haven’t yet reached full cognitive development during our teenage years. Even in our early-20s there is still so much to learn and experience before getting anywhere near “figuring it out”.

    Just let people live. I know it’s annoying to be pestered for stuff that you don’t want to share, especially if it’s pretty much every time you leave your home or every time you walk out of the grocery store, which is probably what prompted this post in the first place, but what’s the use of it? What’s the point of talking shit on a blog post about someone else’s life choices? If the kid bugs you regularly, don’t be passive-aggressive. Just tell the dude that you don’t want to give him anything and you never will.

    But, here I am judging the author for being closed-minded and judgmental. I suppose it’s simply human nature to judge each other.

    Reply
  4. B

    May 31, 2014 10:12 pm

    Worst hateful shit ever. You have no clue how bad some of those kids have it.

    Reply

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