Mark Gonzales: Want to commit a travesty and be shunned by fellow skateboarders? Say something bad about Mark Gonzales. Actually it doesn’t even have to be bad, just next time Mark is brought up, be like, “yeah, he’s ok…” Just by calling The Gonz “OK” will get people to flip the fuck out and talk about how he invented street skating and scribbly artwork. He’s one of those dudes that people automatically know they should say they like regardless of whether or not they know anything about them, kinda like Radiohead or Bob Dylan.


Jason Lee: Another dude who was killing it while you were busy pooping your pants. Anyone under the age of twenty something that claims Jason Lee is their favorite skater is probably lying. The only reason these people rave about how awesome he is, is because they have seen him on TV, making big time screen appearances and oogle at the fact that they can tell people that he’s a former pro skater. They also love to prove to their parents that there is life after skateboarding other then doing drugs or becoming a team manager. Other then that, he has great style, lines and legendary backside flips but it’s not like people really care about this shit because it doesn’t score higher then a 9 on Street League.


Tom Penny: OK, so you saw this clip, where Rob Dyrdek rants and raves about how legendary Tom Penny is and how he “totally shut down this spot”. We know that Tom Penny in his hayday was amazing and is one of the most naturally gifted skateboarders ever. But just because he fucking killed it 10 years ago, doesn’t mean you have to be riding his dick hard in 2011. Translation: You are not any cooler if you like Tom Penny. Especially when his new footage looks like crusty b sides between bong hits. Fuck have you seen his recent shit? Nice N sloppy. What about Extremely Sorry? And you go on Slap and people are still like “LEGEND” or “THIS GUY CAN DO NO WRONG”. Buncha Zealots.
Words: James Lee

Comments

  1. Fuck Skateboarding

    May 10, 2015 5:39 am

    K…….Radiohead??? Bob Dylan??? Must be a joke. Bob Dylan is a fucking joke in terms of music and Radiohead isn’t music.

    Reply
    • Oliver

      July 13, 2015 7:49 pm

      i agree,R*******d is a joke,a bad word my keyboard can’t even type.
      i’d say comparing dylan to m gonzales seems right to me:i mean mark’s skating is too subtle for a kid whom just started skating to apreciate in its beauty and sophistication and some might not see the unbelievable skill behind his skating. but,of course,thats just my opinion.
      in any case,all three subjects are amazing skaters:mark is pure beauty and freedom.what jason did back then is pro’lly my favorite footage of all time.and,penny’s skills and style are undisputed.
      hold on guys.it’s just skateboarding.it’s fun!

      Reply
  2. Afar25

    June 18, 2015 8:05 pm

    Haha I have no idea who came up with the idea to pair these 3 skaters. I think you should have done some research and dug a bit more, or just title the article “skaters I personally don’t like” because to think these 3 are liked based on fame, would be an understatement. First I would take out Jason Lee, he’s an actor who use to skate, he’s not on his board 24/7. The other two are just special in their own way, they give zero fucks about what you think is cool and just skate for fun.

    Where’s the “most” like skater in the world? no mention of Tony Hawk? shit even the old lady at the pharmacy knows him

    Reply
  3. dermbot

    July 28, 2015 3:40 pm

    skateboarding is cool no matter who does it and when. comparing natus kaupas to nyjah houston is impossible. just because natus isnt front bluntsliding 18 rails, doesnt mean hes not really that good.time are different. and just because andrew reynolds is old and still progresses doesnt mean that everyone else his age or whatever should be as good. if you think tom penny sucks, that just means you missed the boat. hes a staple reason why style matters. gonz depicts the true artistry of skateboarding. every spot is skateable. everything is a spot. every skateboard, no matter the shape or size, is skateable. everyone is forgetting that its not a fucking contest. or who can be the best. or about being better than anyone. its just something we all have fun doing. none of this better or worse or any of this mattered before the internet. some people actually grew up on penny footage or gonz shit. nobody is pretending. if you ever get the chance to actually talk to andrew reynolds. ask him who his top 5 favorite skaters of all time are and i promise you at least one of these three guys (tom fucking penny) will be on his list. and i bet you wouldnt call him out for pretending to think hes good. everyone is good at skating. so who even really cares.

    Reply
  4. ass baby

    August 4, 2015 2:15 pm

    Thank for speaking up about tom penny…. Thank you!

    Reply