Mark Gonzales: Want to commit a travesty and be shunned by fellow skateboarders? Say something bad about Mark Gonzales. Actually it doesn’t even have to be bad, just next time Mark is brought up, be like, “yeah, he’s ok…” Just by calling The Gonz “OK” will get people to flip the fuck out and talk about how he invented street skating and scribbly artwork. He’s one of those dudes that people automatically know they should say they like regardless of whether or not they know anything about them, kinda like Radiohead or Bob Dylan.


Jason Lee: Another dude who was killing it while you were busy pooping your pants. Anyone under the age of twenty something that claims Jason Lee is their favorite skater is probably lying. The only reason these people rave about how awesome he is, is because they have seen him on TV, making big time screen appearances and oogle at the fact that they can tell people that he’s a former pro skater. They also love to prove to their parents that there is life after skateboarding other then doing drugs or becoming a team manager. Other then that, he has great style, lines and legendary backside flips but it’s not like people really care about this shit because it doesn’t score higher then a 9 on Street League.


Tom Penny: OK, so you saw this clip, where Rob Dyrdek rants and raves about how legendary Tom Penny is and how he “totally shut down this spot”. We know that Tom Penny in his hayday was amazing and is one of the most naturally gifted skateboarders ever. But just because he fucking killed it 10 years ago, doesn’t mean you have to be riding his dick hard in 2011. Translation: You are not any cooler if you like Tom Penny. Especially when his new footage looks like crusty b sides between bong hits. Fuck have you seen his recent shit? Nice N sloppy. What about Extremely Sorry? And you go on Slap and people are still like “LEGEND” or “THIS GUY CAN DO NO WRONG”. Buncha Zealots.
Words: James Lee

Comments

  1. jonny

    July 20, 2011 1:22 pm

    What you said about Tom Penny is a load of bollocks. The reason people like tom skating then and now is because you always get the sense that he had fun doing every trick whilst still being sick at the same time. I dont think it has anything to do with looking cool in front of your mates. Dont really get the point of this negative shitty article to be honest. This just promoted negativity and the attitude that most the new generation of skateboarders have, that skateboarding is all about who is doing the mathematically and scientifically the best tricks.

    Reply
  2. madlib

    October 27, 2011 1:31 pm

    wack

    Reply
  3. ha!

    December 17, 2011 11:28 pm

    all too true. me and my dumb buddies were skating jim’s ramp way back when and gonz showed up. and he was killing it. stalled eggplants, face high bonelesses, whatever. i think it was the first time i’d ever seen him skate in person. and while i was indeed impressed, i said something like “yeah i guess the gonz is pretty good,” and got vibed by more than a few people.

    Reply
  4. Laughinh C

    December 31, 2011 1:01 am

    haha! – Tom Penny ripping in the Flip Sorry and really sorry. But that trasher shit was like “wtf?!”

    Reply

Leave a comment