Mark Gonzales: Want to commit a travesty and be shunned by fellow skateboarders? Say something bad about Mark Gonzales. Actually it doesn’t even have to be bad, just next time Mark is brought up, be like, “yeah, he’s ok…” Just by calling The Gonz “OK” will get people to flip the fuck out and talk about how he invented street skating and scribbly artwork. He’s one of those dudes that people automatically know they should say they like regardless of whether or not they know anything about them, kinda like Radiohead or Bob Dylan.


Jason Lee: Another dude who was killing it while you were busy pooping your pants. Anyone under the age of twenty something that claims Jason Lee is their favorite skater is probably lying. The only reason these people rave about how awesome he is, is because they have seen him on TV, making big time screen appearances and oogle at the fact that they can tell people that he’s a former pro skater. They also love to prove to their parents that there is life after skateboarding other then doing drugs or becoming a team manager. Other then that, he has great style, lines and legendary backside flips but it’s not like people really care about this shit because it doesn’t score higher then a 9 on Street League.


Tom Penny: OK, so you saw this clip, where Rob Dyrdek rants and raves about how legendary Tom Penny is and how he “totally shut down this spot”. We know that Tom Penny in his hayday was amazing and is one of the most naturally gifted skateboarders ever. But just because he fucking killed it 10 years ago, doesn’t mean you have to be riding his dick hard in 2011. Translation: You are not any cooler if you like Tom Penny. Especially when his new footage looks like crusty b sides between bong hits. Fuck have you seen his recent shit? Nice N sloppy. What about Extremely Sorry? And you go on Slap and people are still like “LEGEND” or “THIS GUY CAN DO NO WRONG”. Buncha Zealots.
Words: James Lee

Comments

  1. Rick Dyder

    July 4, 2011 10:53 pm

    David Jones kills it. Because he helped me realize that talking about skateboarding and letting people know ‘what’s what’ is AWESOME. FUCKYEA!!!!!

    Reply
  2. m477

    July 5, 2011 12:42 pm

    I think maybe you should change the article to “Three skaters every young kid pretends to like”… that would be more accurate. These skaters will always be favorites to those that grew up during the time period. Kinda like how your parents/grandparents get stoked seeing any kind of footage old or new of thier favorite football/baseball player they grew up watching.

    Comparing them now to current pros is stupid and ANY new footage coming from Gonz/Lee/Penny is Gold. What do you expect them to do, stop putting out footage because they’re not the best anymore? Fuck that, I want more Penny footage no matter how ‘crusty’ or ‘sloppy’ it may be. Shit, the times we live in where a 6 trick firing line while holding a joint just doesnt cut it anymore….. smh

    /Penny Zealot

    Reply
    • Rick Dyder

      July 6, 2011 7:21 pm

      You should be thanking David Jones for letting you know what’s up in the world of skateboarding. FUCK! People are gonna be writing articles 15 years from now talking shit on all the kids who still ride his dick. You better jump on this bandwagon quick, before you become like the rest of the skateboarders who just talk about him to look cool.

      Reply
    • theknow

      August 16, 2012 6:05 am

      “Comparing them now to current pros is supid……..” Well, take one look at Reynolds’ current footy, who to my memory, is at least as old as Penny. Now look at Penny’s footy again and tell me it aint sloppy.

      Or maybe its the fact that i live in the same city as him and see his bongrips every once and a while.

      IMHO Penny’s wasted his talent. But that is in complete disregard for whatever personal issues he’s having, so I can in no way jugde him, only regret that such a good skater hasn’t continued to develop.

      Peas

      Reply
      • Leave a reply

  3. Fro-Joez

    July 15, 2011 7:31 pm

    Tom Penny’s line was meant to be B-Side-ish dude! It’s a Thrasher firing line! Eventually every skater will become old and crusty but having favorites has to do with their history. I hate comparing skateboarders to BBall players but it goes along with Bballers saying Jordan is a top 5 even though all they have seen of him is YouTube and ESPN legend clips. blah blah blah. All aside, this site is tight for skate clips! Get some Penny on this! Peace!

    Reply
  4. Fro-Joez

    July 15, 2011 7:47 pm

    PS: Here is why Penny is so “Legend” or call it what you will. This is a 2011 interview in case you didn’t notice:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5MCt4KcT-o

    Ripper!

    Reply