Longboarder_Jenkem_Article

There comes a time in every man’s life when they inevitably ask themselves, “Am I a longboarder?” When this point comes, stop what you are doing. Don’t panic. It may have happened when you found yourself staring at the larger, bigger boarded people on the street, with their shirts off, sweat glistening in the sun. It may have began when you had urges to go faster while wearing tight leather pants and a hemet for “protection”. It may have happened after you stumbled upon beastiality. These feelings are natural, and it can be a very confusing time for a young person who might really be a longboarder.

To help you though this turbulent time, we here at Jenkem Magazine have put together a “Touch Your Inner Longboarder™,” questionnaire. If you check at least one of these off, you may be a longboarder.

1) Do I enjoy mallgrabbing the board more than actually riding it?

2) Do I like it longer and skinnier than shorter and fatter?

3) Did I try skateboarding? Was I terrible? Could I not ollie, do tricks, ride?

4) Does dressing in Oakley sunglasses, Element plaid shorts, flip flops and tight Hurley t-shirts that show off my ripped beach bod really express who I am?

5) When riding, do I tend to push my body forward and get on all fours for maximum speed? Do I rest my hands on my ass because it’s more aerodynamic?

6) Do I label myself as an adrenaline junkie? Would I participate in freerunning or cliffjumping to get other totally extreme rushes?

7) Am I a hip 40+ year old yuppie dad thats “still got it?” Do I force my kids to follow me around with their Razor scooter as I shred the concrete waves of Long Island?

If you have shown any of these signs, don’t worry – your life is still worth living. You still have a great supportive community of rollerbladers, scooter kids and college goons.

Comments

  1. Joe

    October 31, 2018 1:05 pm

    The evolution of skateboarding has evolved to the double kicktail popsicle shape we have now and it has proven that is does everything. Flips, shuvs, down stairsets and gaps, transition, bowls and even hill bombs… well look at SF hillbombs, some even could nose manual, pop Ollie’s and 180s bombing switch or throw in gnarly slides to avoid traffic, but is the popsicle deck the best equipment for it?

    Also nowadays I see longboarders trying to do tre flips and full cabs etc, sure you could land one if you invested the time trying to do it on a longboard instead of a popsicle deck but it defeats the purpose of what the longboard is designed for. It’s designed for people who can’t balance well on a popsicle deck to save their life and they opted the easier and safer option instead of going the harder route of really learning to stand on a popsicle deck, push, pivot and eventually work towards an Ollie to get up curbs and obstacles.

    The longboard is heavy asf and isn’t designed to be agile for catching air, flipping etc. It would be much much much more easier to land a nollie pressure flip with a popsicle deck and god knows who will even try it on a longboard cos you’ll definitely not only get credit carded trying to learn such tricks but your balls would definitely get slapped off trying to avoid the long piece of deck as it gets popped off the floor vertically….

    So it isn’t designed to do such stuff. But the interesting fact is that the people who started their board riding life by getting on a longboard first are mostly those who are almost past their teenage years and couldn’t balance and stand on a popsicle deck after trying once and when they stood on a longboard it suddenly felt that they could actually “skateboard” thus these stereotypes that has both camps hating on each other.

    But that being said, the longboard itself has it’s own purpose such as going crazy fast down mountain roads and sliding into turns etc. Yes you could do it on a popsicle deck used for the street skating but that speed wobble would definitely get you flying off the mountain very very soon. It isn’t the proper equipment to do that job. Yes you could do just like how some longboarder does a tre-flip on his longboard but it isn’t the right equipment.

    Wanna go crazy fast down the mountains opt the longboard but if you wanna skate street, parks and bowls etc the popsicle could be the better choice. And many also skate both and also bring an old skool shaped deck to skate pools.

    Who we actually hating are those that started getting on a board and took the easy way out and calls themselves skateboarders not those that pushed their way through adversity and work their way through.

    Reply
  2. Dead_inside88

    February 7, 2019 11:42 pm

    Use long board for transport only(long distance) or if just running to store. Otherwise it’s a regular double kick. Way I look at it is I’m still pushing wood. Fuck fruitbooters

    Reply
  3. Todd K Laducer

    February 23, 2019 3:14 am

    I AM 56 AND LOVE LONGBOARDING USED 2 SKATE VERT NOW TRICKS R 4 KIDS

    Reply
  4. dw

    March 10, 2019 11:51 am

    glad to say at 43 I still street skate and ride a 8.25″. It’s better than rolling back and forth on some stupid ramp

    Reply

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